Holding the Balance - New online course
My new online course for parents of babies and toddlers is open for registrations!
I’m looking forward to meeting some of you there and I wanted to share a little about myself first.
Parenting is never straightforward - I know that very well. I’ve been on quite a journey of my own over the last thirty years. I’m passionate about sharing both my experience and, maybe more importantly, everything I’ve learned from studying the Pikler approach (pikler.co.uk for more about this).
My parenting journey began thirty years ago when my first child was born in January 1996. I grew to adulthood believing that I didn’t want children and not knowing anything about them, having not had any experience of being with babies or little ones. Finding out that I was pregnant was a shock and came at a bad time for me. I had to think hard about whether to go through with it.
Over the next years there were plenty of challenges in my life with a very difficult relationship and little money, but once my baby arrived - and when I eventually managed to move away and find some independence - I loved being a Mum. Because income support and housing benefit were available to me then, I was able to stay at home. I hadn’t started out with a mortgage or career to maintain and therefore it was an easy choice to make. My mother had stayed at home for me and my three older brothers and so I followed in her footsteps, albeit without the support of a partner or a steady income.
My ethos, if I had one, was to try to be a ‘natural parent’. I loved being in our little gate lodge in the countryside around the horses that lived there, lots of mature trees and our garden where I grew vegetables. We had a dog and two cats and went for long walks. Having had such a difficult start to my parenting journey, it felt idyllic.
As the time for thinking about school came ever closer, I discovered one nearby that offered me the possibility to continue parenting the way I wanted to. It was small and some of the parents there had a similar approach. I started taking my son to the parent-child groups and found a warm welcome.
Fast forward ten years to when my third child was two years old…
I had attended parent-child groups with all three of my little ones and found it to be such a supportive, healing and educational experience. Then, when my daughter was two years old, there was a call for new group leaders. I and a friend, also with a two-year-old (and also called Rachel!), decided to share the role and that was the beginning of my deeper research into child and parent development. I knew how much the groups had meant to me and I wanted to provide a similar experience for other new parents.
I attended a course on running parent-child groups which I really enjoyed. It gave me the confidence I needed to know that I was providing support and activities suitable for the families who attended. But it was while on this course that I first heard about the Pikler approach – the approach that I now value so highly and endeavour to share through my current work with parents and children. It made me reflect very deeply on the approaches I had taken as a parent and what I was bringing to the parents attending our groups.
When the first Pikler training in the UK was announced, in 2011, I signed up immediately! I’d finally found the thing that inspired me to learn more and do better. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, as we know. There were many things that I started wishing I’d done differently as a parent, and I had to do a lot of inner work to reach a place where I could begin to forgive myself for what I saw as things I had done ‘wrong’. I think that’s often the case for parents but it was as enlightening as it was challenging.
I had many wonderful families attending my groups at the time and I shared what I was learning with them after every module. They were more than happy to go along with me as I brought various new ideas to the groups. The atmosphere changed immeasurably. They went from being noisy, chaotic and exhausting (for me), to calm, peaceful and nurturing for us all – adults and children.
I learned how to create an environment that supports both the parent and the child using empathy, slowing down and observation. I was completely hooked!
I was even invited to speak at a conference about the changes I had made and the reasons for doing so. Many of my parent-child group leader colleagues came to my workshop session and resonated so deeply with what I shared with them about self-care and slowing down, simplifying and being present. I was asked to put my presentation into article format and had it published in Kindling magazine.
That was some years ago and I have continued my Pikler studies. With luck (and some hard work) I’ll be a qualified Pikler Professional by the end of 2026.
When I look back, it’s still easy to focus on the things I could have done better or those things that I feel I failed at, but I’ve learned to see that I always did my best in the moment. That’s all that any of us can do and it’s enough. I’m enough. And so are you!
I’m gathering a group of like-minded parents to study this approach and to support each other. My new online course for parents - Holding the Balance: Parenting with presence, patience, and trust in your child’s unfolding self - is due to begin on April 14th. If you’re interested in finding out more, take a look at the course description here — balanced-beings.co.uk/classes.
And if your children are older or your interest is professional, please share this email and details of the course with anyone who you think might be interested. I’m excited to get started.
With warmest wishes,