Why I Do What I Do

One thing I’m very grateful for…

THE PROBLEM

In recent times, I’ve become more and more disillusioned with the state of the world. Politically, socially and environmentally, we seem to be falling apart.

I’m aware that there is much to be grateful for, but there is no denying the fact that things need to change significantly in society generally if we are to claw back any of the global environmental targets that have been set and which require renewed political motivation as well as social change.

Politically, our only power lies in expressing our views via the ballot box, something that at least we’ll be able to do this year.

Socially, we can try to be the change we want to see. So how could that look?

On a purely personal level, I’m possibly at my limit for how much environmental impact I’m able to redress, day-to-day. I could recycle more, use a little less energy, buy fewer plastic-packaged products... But these things are minor in the grander scale of things.

However, on the level of how I interact professionally with the wider world – working with parents and the caregivers we trust to look after our children – I’ve had a bit of an Aha! moment. It’s an obvious concept that’s been right under my nose for years, but I’ve not been in a position to see it so clearly before now.

AHA!

It’s obvious to all of us that future generations are going to need to be versatile, empathetic, independent thinkers, right? We’re bringing them up in a world that’s not working out if human beings want to avoid extinction. (Extreme, I know, but true...) The usual way of doing things is clearly not working.

The education system in the UK needs a complete overhaul, in my opinion, and there are plenty of people who, thankfully, are now challenging that status quo, but how we parents and caregivers raise our children in their first few years has to be challenged too.

In regard to children’s development, ‘schoolification’ is a problem. The youngest children are often hit by this too early – before they are actually ready for school. Being taught how to do everything from motor development – tummy time, sitting, walking – to holding a pen, before they are able to do these on their own, is damaging to their senses of self-achievement, self-confidence and self-esteem, which are so important both in the present and for their future good health. Instead, they learn to passively rely on adults to show them everything, or else they demonstrate their frustration by acting out or having tantrums.

Too many children lose their love of learning early in life due to this need that society has to direct and scaffold their activity, with little knowledge or observation of what each individual child actually wants or needs, and apparently little understanding of actual child development!

The rise of our nursery culture has also played a part. As with so many other aspects of our present culture, top-down economics have too large a part to play in the education of children and nurseries are being encouraged to become educational establishments rather than the home-from-home settings that children of a very young age need, where they can play freely, spend all day outside and feel safe and loved.

I believe that informed, aware parenting and caregiving, focused on raising rounded, balanced human beings, would provide society with a much more diverse, intelligent generation of young people. And these more Balanced Beings would have the skills and curiosity needed to explore and take forward a clearer vision of how to achieve balance for a sustainable future – a vision that holistically takes care of the needs of all of society, our environment and the planet as a whole.

SO WHAT’S TO BE DONE?

Parents and caregivers need to be made fully aware of their responsibility in this regard. It’s huge, but with support they can learn to manage the weight of this for themselves – including, importantly, their own self-care – and how to use common sense, humanity and empathy to share their lives with their children, caring in a way that supports every individual child to learn at their own pace and unfold into their fullest potential. And this needs to start from the very beginning!

We also need to resist this urge to use a top-down approach when shaping the lives of the youngest children. It’s not our job to get them ready for school and adulthood by consistently pressing them to do the next thing, and the thing after that. It is our job to create safe, trusting relationships and environments that allow the human self to unfold and blossom according to each individual’s inner needs and their natural (if it’s not suppressed) curiosity and love of learning.

THE HOW

By owning my own experiences, influences and ongoing life studies, I’m reconnecting to my own power in a way that feeds my confidence to share it with like-minded others in the parenting and professional communities I connect with. My approach to parenting for a better future is based on key Piklerian principles that are simple to engage with and connect to the true common sense that we’re all capable of utilising if we can just reconnect with our inner and most basic selves.

Too often, babies and toddlers are regarded as ‘other’ rather than the whole, if yet undeveloped, human beings that they are. By ‘othering’ them, we set ourselves up for sometimes difficult, challenging, disconnected relationships based on this simple but crucial misunderstanding.

Children need the emotional and physical space to be who they truly are. Not who we want them to be.

I believe that with the experience I have of my own parenting, working with parents and children, and the wisdom learned through studying the Pikler® approach – amongst other things – I can be part of the support network parents and caregivers need if we’re going to raise balanced human beings, creating a better world, one human being at a time.

Our environmental crisis needs a shift in attitude. While there are plenty of people who understand what needs to happen, there haven’t yet been the necessary tilts in opinion or behaviours that will shape government policies sufficiently to take the essential steps needed to make the changes. I believe it’s vital that we raise our children to be free-thinking, critically thinking, curious and confident young people who will actually say, ‘It’s time!’

Today’s parents have the power to raise these much-needed individuals, thereby making a better future possible. We need to live our best lives, with the environment – connecting to the natural world and all its challenges – at the heart of things. We also need to learn/remember how to step back and trust our children, relating to them as the whole human beings they truly are.

Let’s work together to bring up generations of Balanced Beings – better, more capable and more enlightened than ourselves.