Reflection on a One-to-One
After a lovely start to the membership, I forgot to send reflections and reminders out in time for this second session. On the day, one member was able to join me and we had a great one-to-one, discussing a few ways in which parents can make time for themselves every day without feeling guilty.
We were talking about energy levels - how much sleep, rest and alone time is possible - and how taking care of ourselves models self-care for our children.
Here are some of the suggestions I made.
Make time to be alone - adding extra time to the beginning or end of a regular appointment might work, when you have childcare in place already, or else asking a friend or relative to take your little one out for an hour once a week.
Introduce quiet time after lunch, or later in the afternoon. Time for you to rest - a valuable activity in itself (as well as modelling self-care) - allowing time for you and your little one to process the day so far and renew energy levels for the remains of the day.
Observe a daily rhythm. Your rhythm can be visualised as an ebb and flow, or breathing in and out. Time to be active and time to rest. Weeks can have a similar rhythm, too. Sometimes, knowing what to expect can free up your mind and help you let go of stress.
Using child-free early morning or evening times to do what needs to be done for you. Rest, make short, achievable lists for the day, projects, reading - things that help you feel like you’ve put yourself first.
Journaling. Use this as a tool as and when you need it. Write about whatever is on your mind. There are no rules about how to do this, but if you want a kickstart, look up Morning Pages…
If your little one has stopped having naps and finds it hard to let you take quiet time in the afternoon, you could try creating a still, quiet atmosphere with a quiet, calm activity for yourself. I find that I feel restored after 'playing' with a selection of stones, or wooden blocks, or something that I like the feel of and presents me with a challenge. Sitting quietly, focusing on trying to balance objects or making patterns, requires mindful attention and helps to distract the mind from other things.
Reading books is good, too. Reading sets a great example for our children who may enjoy being read to but will find learning to love reading much easier if they see you doing it regularly for yourself too.